One... from Nicole Madau on Vimeo.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Word to your mother...
Sunday was my very first Mother’s Day as a mother with a baby on the outside. Last year I was extremely pregnant and I believe, still every bit deserving of recognition. As anyone who was in whining distance from me would know… my pregnancy was no bed of fuzzy bunnies. Couple that with a husband on strict couch rest for ankle surgery who required everything a baby would need except diaper changes and bottle feeding (though I suspect he would have enjoyed that), I was definitely some kind of a mother!
As Riley’s 1st birthday draws ever so near, I have been reflecting on the past year. As much as my pregnancy seemed to go on endlessly (as in without a foreseeable end… ever!), the past year has literally flown by at a pace only exceeded by light and Spaceball 1 (see "ludicrous speed"). Last year at this time I could have never predicted how much I would truly enjoy motherhood. And it’s not only my observation – Everyone who knows me has been surprised by how I have taken to it (I should probably be somewhat offended by this). This first year has been awesome beyond my wildest imaginings! Sure there were a few missteps along the way. Like my disappointing inability to make the breastfeeding thing work… Even after a four hour class and a private lactation consultant. And you’d better believe, if Riley does contract H1N1 from one of the adorable, plague-ridden urchins at MyGym, I’ll be sure to blame myself for his antibody deficiency. Oh, and then there was the time I convinced myself that our perfect newborn wasn’t a “crier” (like other less gifted babies) because I popped a bottle in his mouth every time he as much as uttered a whisper… An unfortunate practice which ultimately lead to our four month old baby waking-up every two hours during the night and only taking ten minute naps during the day. To rectify the situation we had to perform an excruciating sleeping/eating schedule intervention/exorcism… Which proved to us and anyone within a ten mile radius that he was in fact capable of not only crying, but screaming at a decibel so powerful, the noise should have been harnessed by the military and used as a weapon against pirates.
But I know that these are minor inconveniences compared with the daunting task that lay ahead. You see in the first year, babies require a lot of things… Love, comfort, food, clean diapers, sleep. But these needs, even if sometimes hard to come by and surprisingly difficult to implement, are pretty intuitive, instinctual and basic – Not much research or prior experience required. From one second old, to around one year of age, babies just do what they do. And yes we have to chase them around to prevent them from sticking their tongue in an electrical outlet or falling head first off the couch (or the back of the dog - don't ask...) onto the hard wood floor, but no actual parenting is required. Parents at this stage of a child’s life should really be called, “keepers” – Not unlike the wonderful people at the zoo who feed and take care of the wild animals. Our job is to keep our baby alive and to prevent him from harming himself… or anyone else. But the second year, I suspect, is a whole different story…
Even now Riley has begun to assert himself. Our previously congenial baby has begun to show signs of rebellion. He’s started to test… and protest… and detest like never before! Like, horror of all horrors, an honest to goodness toddler! Which means we keepers have to become parents tout de suite! And like many “older” more contemplative parents, this means research! In the immortal words of Bill Cosby, “…intellectuals study things that people do naturally.” So I’m currently reading parenting books and psychology books and anything to help us not screw-up our kid. I am overwhelmed with the balancing of it all – Not too strict as to allow his personality and creativity to flourish but with enough structure to make him feel safe and secure. Like anything in life and nature, harmony is the key. We must dig deep within ourselves and recognize the deficiencies of our own upbringing and make corrections accordingly… But not over compensate so as to cause a whole different kind of harm. Seriously, my head is spinning! And I know that no parent is perfect. Which leads me to consider scrapping the whole thing in favor of winging it. And instead of buying parenting books, put money into a “therapy fund” along with the college tuition fund so at age 25, a college educated Riley will be able to hire a professional to undue all the emotional damage his loving, well intentioned parents have inflicted on his fragile psyche.
So the stakes have been drastically raised. And our baby’s future potential and happiness is on the line. I only hope that next Mother’s Day I will feel as deserving of celebration… Or at the very least, not end-up on Nanny 911.
As Riley’s 1st birthday draws ever so near, I have been reflecting on the past year. As much as my pregnancy seemed to go on endlessly (as in without a foreseeable end… ever!), the past year has literally flown by at a pace only exceeded by light and Spaceball 1 (see "ludicrous speed"). Last year at this time I could have never predicted how much I would truly enjoy motherhood. And it’s not only my observation – Everyone who knows me has been surprised by how I have taken to it (I should probably be somewhat offended by this). This first year has been awesome beyond my wildest imaginings! Sure there were a few missteps along the way. Like my disappointing inability to make the breastfeeding thing work… Even after a four hour class and a private lactation consultant. And you’d better believe, if Riley does contract H1N1 from one of the adorable, plague-ridden urchins at MyGym, I’ll be sure to blame myself for his antibody deficiency. Oh, and then there was the time I convinced myself that our perfect newborn wasn’t a “crier” (like other less gifted babies) because I popped a bottle in his mouth every time he as much as uttered a whisper… An unfortunate practice which ultimately lead to our four month old baby waking-up every two hours during the night and only taking ten minute naps during the day. To rectify the situation we had to perform an excruciating sleeping/eating schedule intervention/exorcism… Which proved to us and anyone within a ten mile radius that he was in fact capable of not only crying, but screaming at a decibel so powerful, the noise should have been harnessed by the military and used as a weapon against pirates.
But I know that these are minor inconveniences compared with the daunting task that lay ahead. You see in the first year, babies require a lot of things… Love, comfort, food, clean diapers, sleep. But these needs, even if sometimes hard to come by and surprisingly difficult to implement, are pretty intuitive, instinctual and basic – Not much research or prior experience required. From one second old, to around one year of age, babies just do what they do. And yes we have to chase them around to prevent them from sticking their tongue in an electrical outlet or falling head first off the couch (or the back of the dog - don't ask...) onto the hard wood floor, but no actual parenting is required. Parents at this stage of a child’s life should really be called, “keepers” – Not unlike the wonderful people at the zoo who feed and take care of the wild animals. Our job is to keep our baby alive and to prevent him from harming himself… or anyone else. But the second year, I suspect, is a whole different story…
Even now Riley has begun to assert himself. Our previously congenial baby has begun to show signs of rebellion. He’s started to test… and protest… and detest like never before! Like, horror of all horrors, an honest to goodness toddler! Which means we keepers have to become parents tout de suite! And like many “older” more contemplative parents, this means research! In the immortal words of Bill Cosby, “…intellectuals study things that people do naturally.” So I’m currently reading parenting books and psychology books and anything to help us not screw-up our kid. I am overwhelmed with the balancing of it all – Not too strict as to allow his personality and creativity to flourish but with enough structure to make him feel safe and secure. Like anything in life and nature, harmony is the key. We must dig deep within ourselves and recognize the deficiencies of our own upbringing and make corrections accordingly… But not over compensate so as to cause a whole different kind of harm. Seriously, my head is spinning! And I know that no parent is perfect. Which leads me to consider scrapping the whole thing in favor of winging it. And instead of buying parenting books, put money into a “therapy fund” along with the college tuition fund so at age 25, a college educated Riley will be able to hire a professional to undue all the emotional damage his loving, well intentioned parents have inflicted on his fragile psyche.
So the stakes have been drastically raised. And our baby’s future potential and happiness is on the line. I only hope that next Mother’s Day I will feel as deserving of celebration… Or at the very least, not end-up on Nanny 911.
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