I have been very fortunate in my life to have had two great fathers. My parents divorced when I was four and my mom married Russ. Throughout our childhood my younger brother and I spent weekends with Dad and weekdays with Mom and Russ. I don’t think either of us ever felt disadvantaged in any way – In our minds, two dads were better than one. Because both Russ and Dad, though very different people, were incredible fathers and role models.
Russ was the solid foundation on which our blissfully secure life was built. He loved us unconditionally and was always a resounding voice of compassion and reason and integrity and loyalty. I owe much of my belief system to his passionate convictions and sense of fairness and right. He has always been a shining example of what non-material rewards hard work and focus can achieve. And over the years I have strived to make him proud – Not because he demanded it, but because it was my way to honor him. To acknowledge the sacrifices he made for our family. Russ never had any of his “own” biological children and from the beginning, he accepted us completely, without bias, condition or regret. And he willingly and so generously shared us with another father; No easy feat for a stepfather.
Dad was a dreamer. Through his eyes the world was a myriad of endless possibilities and adventures just waiting to be had. He gave the BEST hugs and always told us that we were special and important and loved – And we believed him to our very bones. I remember hiking trips where he would educate us about the flora and fauna along the trail. We learned what things were dangerous and what plants we could eat if we ever found ourselves hungry and without food. Because of Dad, I’m pretty sure I could survive being lost in the woods… or desert… or mining shaft… or unmarked well. I fondly remember hunting for rocks in river beds and horseback riding over miles of dusty trails and repelling off of impossibly huge boulders. I owe my great love of nature and animals to my Dad. He was grateful for the simple things and I credit my joy and passion to his inspiring example. When I was around 10 years old, Dad gave me a framed plaque – The kind of modest treasure one might find at a gas station or convenience store. It was a photograph of an orange and yellow sunrise and the inscription read, “Each new day brings a world of beautiful things.” Whenever I think of Dad, I think of that plaque.
In two incredible fathers, I had the very best of everything.
Tragically, Dad passed away when I was just 17. Over the years, his absence in our lives has been profoundly felt on so many levels. I have often wondered what he would think about me if he knew me “now.” I missed him most at my wedding (I think he would really like my husband Mike) and when Riley was born. And I miss him now almost daily with every amazing milestone that Riley too speedily conqures. I am angry at the unfairness of it all because there is so much he is missing. And there is so much Riley will miss without him as his grandfather.
But Riley is fortunate to have his own amazing father. Mike and my Dad were cut from the same cloth as it were, which is probably what attracted me to him in the first place. He is endlessly kind and generous with his love and has that same amazing gift of being able to view the world through an adventurer’s eyes. Mike is passionate and joyous and silly and he gives the BEST hugs. Riley adores his Dadada.
Mike is an incredible dad and Russy is a wonderful grandfather. And inside me the gifts from my Dad live on. Because of these three amazing fathers, I know Riley’s life will be filled with love and joy and security and adventure... The very best of everything.
Happy Fathers Day!
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